Quotes
Smile and Reflect
What is it about quotes? It seems most of us can't resist them.
There’s every chance that those who like to write will throw in a quote or two now and then. Some probably can’t be bothered trying to be original so they'll add a quote to get the job done. Some are honest and realise they could never say it better, no matter how long they worked at it. Whatever the case, writers are likely to make good use of quotes. Many of us simply jot down those we particularly like.
Quotes come in a variety of flavours. Particularly entertaining are the silly things people say that inevitably come back to haunt them. We all do it, but it’s a lot worse when it's those on the international stage who say something farcical. Politicians, for example, are well known for it. George W is a favourite: "Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?" Or what about: "We cannot let terrorists and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile."
While no one would deny that President Reagan was very clever and could be be pithy too, he's also quotable for other reasons: "Now we are trying to get unemployment to go up, and I think we're going to succeed." Perhaps that term they did. Here’s another: "There is a mandate to impose a voluntary return to traditional values." As if any government would try to force the public into voluntary impositons! However, we must forgive him the odd blunder and gaffe because he also said, “A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah.” Maybe there's something to politicians after all.
While we’re highlighting politicians, what about Al Gore, the man who was nearly President: "A zebra does not change its spots," he claimed. And it just wouldn’t be right to omit the late President Ford: "If Lincoln was alive today, he'd roll over in his grave." But perhaps the silliest thing any US President has ever said was, "We choose to go to the moon!"
Here in the UK it’s worth mentioning a former Armed Forces Minister who had intended to say, "These cuts must be stopped," but said something much more quotable that certainly can't be quoted freely.
Mistakes in the media are very quotable. Newspapers are often rushed out, which may explain some of the following:
We apologise for the error in last week's paper in which we stated that Mr Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr Dogbody is a detective in the police farce.
Miners Refuse to Work After Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Prostitutes appeal to Pope
NJ judge to rule on nude beach
Local newspapers can leave a lot to be desired. The present writer once worked for a slave-driving regional outfit that managed to print several thousand copies of a newspaper with the wrong date! Spelling mistakes, poor grammar and pictures with the wrong captions were commonplace, and probably still are. I don't know. I don't read it.
Packaging can be worth quoting. Here's a silly mistake commonly printed on boxes of painkillers: "Adults, the elderly and children over 12 years: 2 tablets up to 4 times daily... Not recommended for children under 12 years." So what do you do if you're 12? It's such a difficult age...
And it's astonishing the lengths manufacturers of cosmetics will go to in an attempt to convince us that we should enjoy massaging unpronounceable chemicals into our skin. Time to wash your hair? "Revitalise your senses in a world of botanical bliss…" Ignore the advertising and take a look at the nasty contents:
Aqua, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, Cocamidopropyl Betaine, Sodium Chloride, Sodium Citrate, Citric Acid, Sodium Xylenesulfonate, Prfum, Cocamide MEA, Sodium Benzoate, Tetrasodium EDTA, PEG-60 Almond Glycerides, Propylene Glycol, Linoleamidopropyl PG-Dimonium Chloride Phosphate, Guar Hydroxypropyltrimonium Chloride, Benzyl Alcohol, Butylphenyl, Methylpropional, Hexyl Cinnamal, Limonene, Sodium Diethylenetriamine Pentamethylene Phosphonate, Etidronic Acid, Hydroxyisohexyl 3-Cycoexene Carboxaldehyde, Citronellol, Passiflora Incarnta, Anthemis Noblis, Aloe Barbadensis, Methylchloroisothiazolinone, Pheneoxyethanol, Cl 19140, Methylisothiazolinone, Cl 60730, Cl 15510, Methylparaben, Ethylparaben, Butylparaben, Propylparaben, Isobutylparaben, Fumaric Acid.
Baldness is bliss. "As manufacturers fall over themselves to make a more ‘scientific’ and ‘improved’ shampoo, the list of chemical ingredients grows. The latest published research reveals that the preservatives methylchloroisothiazolinone and methylisothiazolinone (which together are called Kathon CG) have the potential to cause nerve damage and skin cancer” (Pat Thomas, What’s in this Stuff?).
Well, we've wandered off the track a bit. But perhaps you’ll find the following pages of interest. You’ll have cause to smile, and reflect.
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