Essays

A Ruined House in County Donegal

While travelling in the more remote regions of the Irish countryside you will come across the weathered ruins of abandoned houses. Unfortunately many have been questionably modernised or left hiding somewhere in the shadow of a bungalow. Many are often used for storage, but some have been left untouched. Apart from reminding us of a time when daily life had few of the conveniences we take for granted today, these modest buildings, or vernacular houses, demonstrate the considerable resourcefulness...
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When Personal Information is Public Fare

Gullibility is an advertiser’s dream. Blogs, forums, and social networking sites turn participators into potential targets. It amazes me that anyone should think it’s ok to dish out lots of personal information on the Internet, of all places. Maybe these folk aren’t cynical enough. Just in case you’re not aware, the Internet is mainly a huge monitored network shaped by big business to make big money out of small people like you and me...
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Keeping In Shape Using Free-standing Weights

If you’re sure you’re in good health, I can thoroughly recommend training with weights for general fitness. You don’t necessarily have to concentrate on leg muscularity to make significant fitness gains. I’ve never been comfortable with the concept of jogging—or whatever it’s called this year. I’m not entirely convinced that it’s a satisfactory way to get generally fit and your joints may not thank you for the intense abuse. Walking briskly, well away from heavy traffic...
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Silly Island: The Curse of Dementia

In recent years there have been many times when I’ve said to myself, Lord, life is ugly. But I have to confess it’s not really a prayer. I’m just venting against the unalterable tangle of problems that life drops on us all. Loud expletives and clenched fists can be an indicator that we are being crushed too often. Some face up to stress better than others. Some have ways of dealing with it, but trouble can eventually dwarf the best of us. A friend who once worked with disadvantaged young adults...
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Big Brains and Simple Saints

A bloke called Joe sets off from New York City on a world cruise. But a great storm blows his ship a thousand miles off course. Eventually the luxury liner starts to break up in titanic seas. In a panic Joe jumps into the dark raging ocean as the stricken vessel sinks into the murky depths… The next morning he comes round and finds himself lying on a deserted beach. He has a huge bump on his head. He remembers nothing at all—what happened, who he is, where he’s from, what year it is—not a thing. He’s starting over...
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Living in the Countryside

Living in the countryside must be nice. As long as I'm a couple of fields away from sheep, horses and cows. Several years ago I came across a cow that was completely off its head. It was leaping into the air like a giant half-ton spring lamb looking for someone to trample to death. It's no laughing matter. Here in the UK several people have been killed by cows over the last few years so there are probably a lot of unrecorded injuries too...
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Hubble Ultra Deep Field

The Hubble telescope was pointed at a really small area of black space and over 400 orbits it recorded 800 exposures lasting 11.3 days. This is very far back in time. Experts believe it to be “the time shortly after the big bang when the first stars reheated the cold, dark universe."...
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In Print

Rainforest the size of Belgium must be felled each month to print the wearying thoughts of UK political analysts. And do you know what? 95% of the population aren't one bit interested. Neither are the intelligent, enquiring minds of the well-adjusted titillated by the risible antics of celebrities. Who really cares if they've changed their sexual preference, or divorced the same filthy rich person for the third time, or imported alpine air to breathe while having acupuncture sessions? They're wired to the moon and nobody should pay them any attention...
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When Minor Poets Are Ignorant, but Readable

Do you ever find that wrestling with tedious textbook stuff can choke the life out of inspiration and creativity? If we're not careful it can take the shine off our hobbies and become a time-consuming exercise in its own right. Let's face it, for many poets the silly names given for structures within a poem remain detached from the actual practical process of getting it written...
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My Grandmother (and Britney Spears)

You have to wonder about celebs, don't you. I'm saying this because I've just seen a scowling David Beckham lounging in his underpants. Victoria sees this regularly and is probably blasé about it, but it's a bit much for the rest of us. Being a ten-stone weakling with legs like a baby stork, maybe I'm just a bit jealous...
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The Boring World of Blogs

Blogs? I used to think politics and cricket were the most boring things on the planet – until blogging came along. There are good reasons why. Reading most blogs is as stimulating as cutting your toenails. Why? Content and ability. It's that simple...
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The Muzzy Buzz

While the nurse first checked out my prostate gland (don't ask) and then, wearing a clean pair of gloves, reassuringly counted “One, two,” I could hear a commotion outside the cubicle. It appeared an elderly man had drunk too much and fallen down a flight of stairs. “We get a lot of that,” the nurse said with a tired smile...
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Scrambled Mind

I'm not sure what depression is. I'm not sure I'd want “a professional” to help. To me that's like getting marriage counselling from a priest. A formerly depressed professional might have an edge...
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Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ

In 1959 Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer released its supercolossal epic, Ben-Hur. At a cost of $15 million this lavishly produced film employed six 65-millimetre cameras, 3000 sets and 50,000 people, including main actors Carlton Heston, Jack Hawkins, Haya Harareet and Stephen Boyd...
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There's Something Seriously Wrong with Christmas

'Tis the Season to be Jolly? Well, perhaps not... Who knows, but back in the days when the old melody "Deck the Halls" was written, your chances of contriving a dose of frivolity at Christmas may have been greater than they are today. Mind you, that's not saying much. The author of the lyrics was either on drugs or not on the same planet as his hammered contemporaries: "Don we now our gay apparel... Follow me in merry measure." Sounds more like the Mardi Gras...
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